Best Man Toast with a Short Bride Roast

Because I am so darn proud of Mr. Dizzy's work, I just had to share his toast! He got so many laughs and compliments!

Best Man Speech

Hi, my name is __Mr. Dizzy__, for those of you who don’t know me I’m the groom’s younger brother.

I wanted to start off by thanking everyone involved in making this day special.

As many of you know, __Groom__ has quite the list of accomplishments. I would like to highlight a few now:

__Groom__’s Accomplishments

* First Born

* First Born Male (Able to trade on the family name).

* High School and College Athlete

* Attended The Air Force Academy

* Was awarded MVP of the National Champion Air Force Academy Rugby Team

* First to Get Married

So with this amazing resume, it was very nice of him to allow me, for one day, to be the best man.

Now, growing up, __Groom__ and I had a dicey relationship. It was __Groom__’s duty as an older brother to torment me, and my duty as a younger brother to get __Groom__ into trouble, whether he had done anything or not. With this type of relationship, you can guess, that I learned how to annoy him. I’m amazing at it. I don’t have to look at him, talk to him, I don’t even have to be in the same room as him and I can annoy him. In fact, I am using my Jedi mind powers to annoy him right now. 

So __Bride__, I would love to stand up here at give you advice on how to make my brother happy, but the fact remains that I have no idea how to do that.

 But, you are my new sister, and I want to welcome you to the family, so I’m going to do it the only way I know how. __Bride__, prepare to be annoyed. I’d like to talk about all the things that I don’t like about __Bride__.

Things I don’t like

1. When __Groom__ started dating __Bride__, he decided he was from Texas. Really? Texas? Where is the Montana Pride.

2. She is a better __Family name__ than I am. She can stand up to my sisters. Case in point: Before our family reunion two years ago my sisters provided a list of requirements for __Bride__ on facebook. Let me read off a few of them and __Bride__’s responses.

__FSIL-M__ Wrote: Here are ways your girlfriend can win over your sisters (including __Mr. Dizzy__). . .

Don't spend an hour doing your hair and makeup if we are going to do something outdoorsy!

__Bride__ Responded: -my hair is a mess more days than it is actually fixed

__FSIL-M__  Wrote: Don't treat __FSIL-T__ like a child.

__Bride__ Responded: I don't think this will be a problem

__FSIL-M__  Wrote: Drink a lot and have fun. Get a little crazy, but not annoying!

__Bride__ Responded: I hope you like tequila

3. The third thing I don’t like about __Bride__: When __Bride__ and __Groom__ came to visit in Montana for Thanksgiving, __Bride__ voluntarily shoveled the sidewalk. I never voluntarily shovel the sidewalk. Don’t do that it makes me look bad.

4. But when I sat down to figure out things I didn’t like about __Bride__, it was hard. Which, ironically is the fourth thing that I don’t like about her.

But in all reality __Bride__ is an awesome girl and I am excited to welcome a new sister into the family. I know you’ll fit in great, and I’m looking forward to the family adventures to come. Before I wrap things up I wanted to give you guys some advice for a happy marriage. No I don’t speak from experience, I speak from Wikipedia.

Advice

* Choose your battles, you don’t have to be right all the time

* Don’t go to bed angry

* Don’t sweat the small stuff

* Don’t come home drunk with a dead body

* Always remember how much you love each other right now in this room.

In closing, I’m pleased to say that, __Groom__, it’s time for your mission to torment me to come to an end. You have a new mission now. To make __Bride__ the happiest woman on earth, and I’m confident you will succeed. So finally please raise your glasses to __Groom__ and __Bride__. I can speak for everyone in this room when I say we all wish you the happiness that you deserve.


~~~~~


Isn't that great? Lots of good humor but really sweet at the end.  So perfect!! Nice job Mr. Dizzy! 


Did anyone else sortof grill the bride in a best man speech? What do you think is better... having a memorize speech or reading it from a paper?

Wedding in Texas

 Why hello again! It has been awhile, yes? I almost hate going this long without writing because I get overwhelmed with all the things I need to write! This post will simply recap FBIL’s wedding I suppose. And I apologize...none of these are my pictures! Thank you Facebook.

On Thursday, after two flights and a layover in Denver, Mr. Dizzy and I met one of his sisters in the San Antonio airport.  We shall call her FSIL-M with the M standing for Montana because, yep you guessed it, she lives in Montana. Creative, I know. We got our rental car – a Queen Victoria – which was apparently a quadruple upgrade (man I would hate to see what our original was), and we proceeded to head down to Corpus Christi.  It broke my little heart driving past all the signs directing tourists to the Alamo but we were anxious to see Mr. Dizzy’s family.

{The Alamo exit. Ah my parents made me such a history nerd}

Image via AA Roads

Now Texas was not at all what I expected.  Don’t get me wrong, I heard a ton of ‘y’alls’ and saw a lot of BBQ and Mexican food shacks but I am talking about the landscape. I’m always incredibly embarrassed when I realize how naïve and unaware I am of other places.  For example, I expected to be eating Mexican food while I was in Chile.  I would soon come to find out they had no idea what Mexican food even was (Have you ever had enchiladas?? “Que? Ensalada?” No, enchiladas…never mind).  And when I went to the Hamptons, I was expecting Newport Beach with tons of palm trees.  What did it look like? Well nothing like Newport Beach and nooo palm trees.

{Newport Beach}

 Image via Newport Villas

{Beach on the Hamptons}

Image via Healthy Happy Life

You would think I would learn when my preconceived thoughts about places are constantly disproved. But no…I keep generalizing movie sets to real places.  So of course I showed up to Texas expecting to see dust, cacti, and tumbleweeds (hence the picture on my last post – totally busted) but instead found a lot of green trees and brush.  Squatty trees but trees nonetheless.

{No cactus. boo.}

Image via AA Roads

And those squatty trees were the only thing I saw for our 2 hour drive.  We get to Corpus Christi and meet up with the rest of his fam and have dinner at seafood joint chock full of character.  

Image via Caller.com

 I had to order the gumbo…I was on the Gulf y’all! After dinner we drove north to Rockport where we checked into our hotel, the Lighthouse Inn.  The view was pretty sweet from our room…the bay was literally right out our window! 

Image via Picasa

Friday morning we all just hung out around the pool waiting for Mr. Dizzy’s extended family to get into town.  All of us “kids” went out and got some Texas BBQ. Mmmm yum. We pretty much just hung out at the hotel visiting for the rest of the day.  That evening, I accompanied the wedding party to their rehearsal and dinner.  We went to a little place called Moondog and they put us on a deck above the restaurant for our private party. 

{Sweet party deck, no?!}

Image via Texas Outside

It was a casual low-key dinner with really yummy food (FISH TACOS!!).  See the cute menus they made?

Image via Facebook

FBIL and his fiancé passed out their gifts to the wedding party.  For the guys, they got monogramed toiletries bags from Eddie Bauer (pretty good idea if you ask me) and for the girls, monogrammed bags with lotion and an anklet. Mr. Dizzy loved his gift and proceeded to literally throw away his old toiletry bag that night.

{The whole rehearsal dinner gang}

Image via Facebook

Saturday was the big day!! We got up that morning and sorta split up for the day.  Mr. Dizzy stayed with FBIL and watched football. 

{Go Broncos!!}

Image via Facebook

  I went to the bride’s room and watched the girls as they got their hair and makeup done. All in all, it was a pretty slow moving day.  A lot of hurry up and wait.  Around 5:45 in the evening, I walked down with Mr. Dizzy’s cousin to the ceremony at Fulton Mansion (literally a block away from the hotel).  

Image via Facebook

Mr. Dizzy (looking mighty fine I might add) escorted me to the front row. Exciting! I have never been in the front row before!  They had a string quartet playing for the processional…I really liked how they played Somewhere Over the Rainbow when the wedding party walked out. 

Image via Facebook

The ceremony was quick and then the wedding party took pictures as the crowd left for the reception. 

When we walked into the reception, a Mariachi band was singing! 

Image via Facebook

So much fun…I am always secretly jealous of people who have an ethnic heritage! They had a buffet dinner of fajitas which was tasty.  Then they had a live country band perform for the rest of the evening with a DJ to fill in when they took breaks.  FBIL’s first dance was very sweet…they did the cutest Texas two-step to a country song. Now I won’t go on and on about the details because I am sure most of you truly don’t care.  (Except that I caught the bouquet and Mr. Dizzy caught the garter! Fun!) But I will list some things I liked and some things that worked for them, but I would change for myself.

Things I liked:

An outdoor ceremony that was short and sweet!

Even with all the controversy and grief the bridesmaid dresses gave everyone, I thought they looked nice

Image via Facebook

The casual look of the groomsmen

A printed schedule for photograph times for wedding party and family

Her flower colors

Image via Facebook

A day-of-coordinator

Their centerpieces - mason jars with pretty flowers, tin cans, rustic nature balls, cotton

Cupcakes!!

Image via Facebook

Photobooth! I am so glad we are doing this…but now I have to really figure out how to make it DIY.

Mr. Dizzy’s speech – all our hard worked paid off! It was a great speech!

Dancing and having fun with Mr. Dizzy’s family

Mr. Dizzy’s family bringing out the mustaches

{Gotta love the 'staches}

Image via Facebook

Things I would have changed:

Provide things to do for guests during the ‘down-time’. I felt like I didn’t get to experience Texas the whole time I was down there.

I want to spend more time with family during the weekend.  Not only is quality family/friend time important to us, but I feel it will also give me and Mr. Dizzy a break during our wedding from people catching us up on their life story.

Announcing major events at the reception (i.e. cake cutting, toasts, etc.) so people can be more involved

I want a fun get-away.  No disappearing!

In the grand scheme of things, the wedding was a lot of fun and it was very ‘them.’ I am so glad I was able to be a part of it. I learned a lot but I found one thing to be true above everything else…the details are fun, but in all reality it’s the people who are sharing the day with you that make it memorable.  Which makes me even more excited for our special day!!!  I can’t wait to see you guys! 

Did anyone else go to a destination wedding where they didn't explore? What did you learn at someone else's wedding while planning for your own?


{All Facebook photos are personal photos from family and friends of FBIL}